Sept. 29: College Life: Wordsworth and Wolfe
After
the Wolfe reading, I was convinced that Universities are simply
ostentatious and pretentious wastes of space. Unfortunately, it seems
that some people can get caught up in the pomp of their collegiate
surroundings. Wolfe describes the reaction of one such student when he
saw “the famous Grove…[that] made him feel Dupont in his bones, which
made his bones infinitely superior” (356). Although the University of
Texas isn’t a private institution like Dupont, some of the
architecture, landscaping, and ornamentation at UT surely go beyond
mere aesthetics and tap into the feelings of superiority that Wolfe
describes. Thus far, in my college experience, I have sought to
separate myself from the arrogance that the physical UT campus
suggests.
Surprisingly, today’s test review for my art history
class provided a piece of information that led me to think that the
elitism present in University campuses might be admissible. We
discussed the Ancient Egyptians’ concept of the afterlife. They
believed that a person’s body and “Ka” (one’s life-force or spirit)
were born simultaneously, but the Ka, unlike the body, was immortal.
Because of this belief, the Ancient Egyptians built grand tombs for the
Ka to dwell in. They also carved statues of pharaohs from strong stone
because the Ka would search for a statue to inhabit. The Egyptian’s
funerary monuments were built to be permanent because of their belief
in immortality. The physical domain of Universities reflects a similar
belief in immortality because the University is a place for various Ka
to inhabit.
The statue of Newton that Wordsworth describes as a
“marble index of a mind for ever/ Voyaging through strange seas of
Thought” certainly serves as a seat for Newton’s Ka (374). Every time
a student from Cambridge looks at the likeness of Newton his spirit is
summoned from the collective unconscious to influence the living.
While Newton no longer lives, his mind and thoughts are even more
vibrant than when he was living. Furthermore, his immortal Ka is “for
ever voyaging” because students use his ideas to innovate new ideas.
Just like Newton’s statue, the campuses of Universities can be
inhabited by various Ka. Wordsworth describes “turrets and pinnacles
in answering files,/ extended high above a dusky grove.” In his
representation of Dupont, Wolfe describes “The towers, the turrets, the
spires, the heavy slate roofs—all of it ineffably beautiful and
ineffably grand….It was a stronghold!” (357) He also places a strong
emphasis on Dupont’s grove. It is these allusions to Cambridge, the
second-oldest University in the world, that give Dupont its sense of
superiority. The University of Texas, too, can be compared to
Cambridge. The UT tower is strikingly similar to “Trinity’s loquacious
clock,/Who never let the quarters, night or day,/ Slip by him
unproclaimed” (373). These architectural likenesses of Cambridge
University are places for Cambridge’s Ka to dwell.
While
memory is also a place for spirits to dwell, statues or buildings are
much more formidable funerary monuments. Such physical objects are
like permanent memories that constantly evoke the Ka. What the
“Ghosts” project and the Wolfe and Wordsworth readings have taught me
is that my college experience is closely
Oct. 4 Joyce 6-65
The
meaning of names is very important in the first chapter of Portrait,
especially for little Stephen Dedalus. His name is particularly
meaningful. The Christian name, Stephen, refers to St. Stephen, who
was the first christian martyr. The literal meaning of Daedalus in
ancient Greek is "cunning artificer", but the name also recalls the
myth of Daedalus and his son Icarus. In the myth, Daedalus is exiled
from Athens and goes to Crete to construct for King Minos the famous
Labyrinth to house the Minotaur. Then, King Minos imprisons Daedalus
and his son, Icarus, in the Labyrinth. Fortunately, Daedalus crafts
wings out of feathers and wax for Icarus and himself, and they are able
to escape. However, the giddy Icarus's wings melt when he flies too
close to the sun, and he plummets into the sea.
In the first
chapter Stephen lives up to his name. Like Daedalus, he is exiled
from the rest of his peers because he finds it difficult to associate
with them. He is also exiled quite literally to the infermary. He
becomes a martyr when he unfairly punished by Father Dolan.
Furthermore, after his punishment, Stephen finds himself in a moral
labyrinth especially because of the fact that "The prefect of studies
was a priest but [his punishment] was cruel and unfair" (52). Stephen
discovers how to escape this labyrinth and attain justice when he
appeals to the rector about Fr. Dolan's "pandying" incident. At the
end of the chapter, Stephen is a moral hero (which is interesting,
because the first draft of Portrait is titled Stephen Hero) when his
classmates "hoisted him up among them and carried him along till he
struggled to get free" (58). Finally, Stephen declares that "he would
not be anyway proud with Father Dolan. He would be very quiet and
obedient: and he wished that he could do something kind for him to show
him that he was not proud" (59). In her journal, Rachel points out
that this is not due to Stephen's moral rectitude, but rather his
namesake as a "cunning artificer". Also, in this quote, Stephen
implies that he knows to avoid the immature fault of Icarus.
Stephen seems to realize the significance of his name. When Nasty
Roche asks him "What is your name?" Stephen quickly answers "Stephen
Dedalus", but is unable to answer the question "What kind of a name is
that?". The stream of consciousness style of this book makes every
thought of Stephen's significant. The fact that he thinks of his
inability to answer a question about his name implies that his name
became important to him later. By the end of the chapter, Stephen is
offended that the prefect had to ask him his name twice. "Why could he
not remember the name when he was told the first time?" Stephen asks
himself (55). By now, Stephen seems to have at least partially
discovered the meaning of his name. Stephen's name is a source of his
ego. When he thinks of Father Dolan forgetting his name, Stephen is
personally offended and insults Dolan's name, saying that "it was like
the name of a woman that washed clothes" (55).
It seems that
Stephen is slowly understanding the meaning of his name. I am most
interested with how Stephen will be a "cunning artificer". He
obviously will become an artist, but perhaps our awareness that he is
also a cunning artificer will allow us to read into Stephen
differently. Maybe this whole book, this whole piece of "art" is the
effort of another cunning artificer--Joyce.
Oct. 11 Joyce 65-135
I
fortunately have never been told "Brian, you are going to Hell." But,
the same message has been implied. Upon learning that I had decided
not to attend a christian-youth retreat, my parish priest bowed his
head and said, "Jesus, I pray for your poor lost souls..." I'm still
not entirely sure whether he was joking.
The idea of a
"God-fearing man" seems to be misunderstood by the Hell-raising
preachers like the rector at Steven's school or my parish priest
(disclaimer: he's actually not that bad). A fear of God implies a
respect for God, not some inordinate terrifying feeling of "OR
ELSE..." Unfortunately, its much simpler (and more dramatic) to summon
imagery of fiery pits and tormenting demons than to convince one to be
good for the sake of being good. The Catholic Church distinguishes
between two types of contrition: "perfect" contrition and "imperfect"
contrition which is also called "contrition of fear". Contrition is
called perfect "when it arises from a love by which God is loved above
all else" whereas imperfect contrition "is born of the consideration
of sin's ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other
penalties threatening the sinner" (CCC 1452-1453). By telling his
young followers to "think only of the last things, death, judgement,
hell and heaven," the rector encourages imperfect contrition of fear.
But, Stephen fails to even possess a desire to do good, perfect or
imperfect. He seems to feel that his mortal sin has won some sort of
moral battle. He accepts his dismal fate and asks himself, "What did it
avail to pray when he knew that his soul lusted after its own
destruction?" (104). Like St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of
the Society of Jesus, Stephen becomes somewhat of an self-disciplining
ascetic after his mortal sin. However, Stephen is a perverse ascetic.
Instead of abstaining from his own indulgences, Stephen continues
committing sin in an almost masochistic way. He continues down a path
of despair, but feels unworthy to ask for a way out. Even when he
identifies with the churchgoers and his thoughts might be construed as
compassionate, Steven believes "he stooped to the evil of hypocrisy
with others, sceptical of their innocence which he could cajole so
easily" (104).
Stephen's mercilessness for his own soul is
actually slightly egotistical. He seems to believe that his sin is
more powerful than God's mercy. He gives the Church's teachings a
double standard. While he believes that he lives in mortal sin based on
church teachings, he refuses to follow the doctrine that God is
merciful. Even the rector's grave sermon acknowledges that "His arms
are open to receive you even though you have sinned against Him" (135).
However, an enormous change in Stephen happens by the end of
the retreat. When the rector repeated the act of contrition, Stephen
"bowed his head, praying with his heart" while the other students
passively "answered [the rector] phrase by phrase" (135). Stephen
suddenly acquires a most perfect contrition in which he is "heartily
sorry for having offended Thee...Who art so deserving of all my love"
(135).
Oct. 18 Joyce 135-194
I know I have
focused on this theme before, but I couldn't help but note that
throughout his spiritual journey through the realm of Catholicism,
Stephen subconsciously reveals his overweening egotism. So many layers
of Mr. Dedalus's self-centered fault shine through his actions, even
when he is repentant. Before his grand confession, Stephen is seen
roaming the streets in shame because he believes he is such an awful
person. His despair gets so intense that after he sees a few "frowsy
girls" on the corner "A wasting breath of humiliation blew bleakly over
his soul to think of how he had fallen, to feel that those souls were
dearer to God than his" (140). It seems that through all of his
theatrics, Stephen is attempting to set up the perfect Prodigal Son
story.
If you don't know the prodigal son story, here it is (adapted from Luke 15:11-32):
A
man had two sons. The younger son, or prodigal son, asked for his
share of his father's estate and goes away and squanders it while the
older son remains to serve his father. Then, when the younger son is
dirt-poor, he comes back to his father and asks for forgiveness. His
father throws a big party and celebrates his younger son's return. The
older son feels short-changed because his father never threw a party
for him, so he pouts.
Just like the prodigal son, Stephen
has sinned against his father or, in this case, God. Because of his
ego, Stephen is certain that he is the absolute worst sinner in the
world. However, he seems to be exaggerating his own sin, shame and
repentance so that, when he returns to his father through confession,
God will throw a huge party, possibly with noisemakers. Stephen fails
to understand the human condition that everyone is a sinner and chooses
to isolate himself from the rest of humanity.
Even after his
confession, Stephen is still stuck on himself (figuratively speaking,
of course). He believes that "The world for all its solid substance
and complexity no longer existed for his soul save as a theorem of
divine power and love and universality" (150). When he says that the
world is a "theorem of divine power and love and universality," he is
referring to St. Thomas's idea that the physical world points to
spiritual truths. But, Stephen completely dismisses St. Thomas's
conclusion that the physical world is important and exists for humans
to abstract higher meaning from. Mr. Dedalus, the cunning artificer,
has manipulated the teachings of St. Thomas to support his isolationist
way of life. He places himself higher than the "solid substance and
complexity" and into an entirely intellectual world where his ego can
have free reign.
Stephen really flaunts his ego when he speaks
to the dean about possibly becoming a priest. He proves that he is
sharp enough to point out the stupidity of a priest who said "I believe
that Lord Macaulay was a man who probably never committed a mortal sin
in his life, that is to say, a deliberate mortal sin" (156). In this
case "the priest is 'giving himself away' as stupid or uninformed...
Every mortal sin is by definition 'deliberate,' and Macaula's life was
not spotless" (notes, 516). However, when his ego takes over, Stephen
plays right into the dean's enticements of power, and his pride is
easily elicited. Stephen ironically notes that after becoming a
priest, "he would know then what was the sin of Simon Magus and what
the sin against the Holy Ghost for which there was no forgiveness"
(159). Well, as a properly educated Catholic student, Stephen should
know that the sin of Simon Magus was Simony, or the buying of priestly
privileges. This is exactly one of Stephen's faults because he is so
enamored by the power of the priesthood that the dean promises. The
unforgivable sin against the Holy Ghost is blasphemy against the Holy
Ghost which is the failure to ask for forgiveness (and is the only
unforgivable sin). This sin is attributed to pride, which Stephen is
definitely guilty of.
Oct. 25 Joyce 194-253
Oh
Lucifer, what have you done?! Steven commits the sin of all sins when
he says "I will not serve" (pg 239 AND pg 246--he really means it).
The last time I checked, these kind of words get you tossed out of
Heaven faster than you can say "ego".
Theology lesson for the day:
Sin,
according to everybody's favorite Catechism, is primarily "an offense
against reason, truth, and right conscious" (CCC 1849). Class
dismissed.
It might shock and appall some people that sin is not
primary an offense against God (although it is that, by default). Good
old Catholic promulgation made us all sinners, whether you like it or
not. Although Steven is no longer a God-fearing man, he still is
guilty of sin against reason, truth, and right consiousness when he
rejects humanity for his aesthetic/elitist/isolationist/lame ideal.
Steven
believes that "when the soul of a man is born in this country there are
nets flung at it to hold it back from flight." and goes on to say, "You
talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall fly by those
nets" (Joyce, 203). Steven sees all of these institutions as barriers
to his aesthetic actualization. His casting off all of these "nets" is
a desperate attempt to "discover the mode of life or of art whereby
[his] sprit could express itself in unfettered freedom" (246).
Steven's venture for freedom is quite understandable. He refuses to
allow external ideologies affect his creativity and artistic
endeavors. However, it seems like Steven is simply avoiding the much
more difficult task of expressing freedom within the cultural or social
structures to which he, like all men, belong.
Steven adheres
to an impossibly broad definition of freedom. One cannot be completely
free, in the purest sense of the word. Essentially, everyone is bound
by certain universal truths like gravity or the temporal limits of
human intellect. Instead, freedom should be qualified as "the freedom
to do what makes one happy" or, for religious people, "the freedom to
do what leads one closer to God." Steven's definition of freedom is
exposed as being impossible when he refuses his mother's request to
make his Easter duty. Cranly asks Steven whether he would save his
mother from suffering to which Steven replies "If I could" (241). But,
Steven does not "set her mind at rest" (241) because such an act would
force him to comply with the religious net he has already casted off.
Another similar circumstance occurs when Cranly points out that
Steven's new isolationist pursuit will leave him without "the noblest
and truest friend a man ever had" (247). These words "seemed to have
struck some deep chord in his own nature" (247). In this case, Steven
prevents himself from experiencing friendship for the sake of his
ideals. Steven's aesthetic pursuit of freedom is a net within itself
and prevents Steven from being truly free.
Nov. 1 College Idealism: Jude the Obscure part 1
Quite
unlike Jude's "magnificent Christminster dream" (36), my expectations
of university were hardly so romanticized. Although I am technically
only a second generation college student, I was raised with the
understanding that higher education is the natural progression of life
for someone of my particular place in society. Part of this
expectation came from my parents, who are living testaments of the
value of education in America. But, I feel that the very place I lived
(suburbia) had much to do with my one-way street to college. In a
seemingly self-serving way, the public education system marked me at
the first sign of a scholarly inclination. Since then, I have been
grouped with several other college-bound students who rarely or never
have considered alternative lives-after-high-school. In high school,
my future became even more strictly predestined when I entered a
College Prep school of which one hundred percent of the graduates
enrolled in college.
Of course, I think that this social
preference for college that I have been exposed to is a positive one.
But, I feel that I have somehow lost the opportunity to feel the
intense joy that a college acceptance letter often brings to hopeful
students. Furthermore, I often find myself taking my educational
opportunities for granted rather than cherishing them for their immense
value. Jude knows these feelings that I have allowed to pass by when
he says that Christminster is a "city of light" and that the "tree of
knowledge grows there" (20).
Though I may not have had the
same grand expectations of college as Jude had of Christminster, I can
surely relate to the dual-value he places on education. To Jude, a
university education serves both romantic and pragmatic purposes. Jude
becomes "romantically attached to Christminster," and when he hears the
wind from the city he believes "it was the sound of bells, the voice of
the city; faint and musical, calling to him, 'We are happy here.'"
(17). In the more romantic sense, he values education as a means of
being happy and personally fulfilled. He also exclaims "I'll be the
D.D. [Doctor of Divinity] before I have done! (32). This reveals
that he acknowledges and is driven by the more practical purpose of
procuring a lucrative profession.
I have primarily been driven
toward college by the so-called pragmatic purposes of education. This
pragmatic goal was instilled in me during my early pubic education
which rarely focused on the more idealized aspects of learning. I
remember the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was
frequently asked by elementary school teachers, eager to prepare for
"career day" when children would dress up as spacemen, archeologists,
or doctors. In fact, everything about my public education seemed to be
somehow linked to my becoming a successful doctor. For example, I
would ask "Why should I read books?" The answer was usually something
along the lines of "So that you will learn vocabulary in order to score
high on the SAT and get into a good college and become a successful
doctor!"
Fortunately, during high school, I realized the more
romanticized value of an education and began to acknowledge a higher
purpose in my educational pursuit. Like Jude, I enjoyed the idea that
education brought some sort of enlightenment. However, I also began to
realize that my education can be used to serve society. This romantic
idea of education led me to pursue a more liberal arts based education
rather than a strictly science-based doctor-training-camp.
Nov. 8 : Outsiders Jude Part II; Zuleika, 4-6, 18-20, 116, 119-123, 125-8, 130, 132-9, 227-8
I
hesitate to label myself an "insider" or an "outsider". While Jude
certainly would call himself an outsider, and the Duke would admit to
being an insider, I think these classifications are more self-imposed
attitudes than actual realities.
Furthermore, the origins of
these classifications seems to be at fault. The "insider" is defined
by the insider himself (or insiders themselves), leaving the
"outsiders" to aspire toward and usually romanticize a specific
standard. However, the insiders, when defining themselves, usually
appear fatuously elitist. In Zuleika the Duke has clearly classified
himself as an intellectual insider in the subject of love. Oh so
insightfully, the Duke claims to know "that ecstasy of self-sacrifice
which he himself had felt to-day and would feel to-morrow" after being
"enslaved to Miss Dobson since yesterday evening" (127, 135). The Duke
reinforces his superior understanding of love when he points out that
the others knew her "only since this afternoon...at a respectful
distance" (135-136). His great love for Zuleika even drives him to
commit suicide.
The other men, the outsiders, aspire toward the
Duke's superior understanding of love when they shout "I love
[Zuleika], and shall, and will" (133). After the Duke announces he will
kill himself for Zuleika, the men decide that they must follow suit.
These men do not really love Zuleika in the same way that the Duke
does. They are merely infatuated with her. However, they resist being
intellectual outsiders by mimicking the Duke's reactions. The only
person who realizes how ridiculous all of the men are being is the
uneducated wine merchant. When hearing the men proclaim their love and
willingness to die for Zuleika, the merchant "smiled pensively" and
murmered "Youth, youth!". He is neither an insider or an outsider in
the situation because he has not defined himself as such. Instead, he
is a man who has real experiential knowledge of love and life that the
men inside the exclusive club do not have. The man exposes both the
Duke and the other men for their silliness and immaturity. The Duke
claims he understands love, but really does not; the others claim to
understand love, but only to appear intellectual.
In Jude, our
favorite Christminster outsider is exposed in a similar way. He has
been aspiring to be quite literally inside the walls of Oxford. He has
romanticized the idea of obtaining a university education. However,
the university man is an insider, and therefore defines his own place
in society. Unfortunately for Jude, that place is not one he can
enter. The head of Biblioll College Mr. Tetuphenay wrote Jude in a
letter, "I venture to think that you will have a much better chance of
success in life by remaining in your own sphere and sticking to your
trade than by adopting any other course" (110). This, of course,
shatters Jude's dreams, and influences him to turn to alcohol, lots of
alcohol. During his trip to the bar, a man named Tinker Taylor tells
the inebriated Jude "I always saw there was more to be learnt outside a
book than in" (114). Tinker provides Jude with the viable alternative
to a university education--education through experience. He exposes
Jude for his immature pursuit of a university education when it does
not provide a reasonable livelihood.
In both novels, its seems
that the person even further outside than the outsider has the best
understanding of reality. The merchant in Zuleika and Tinker Taylor in
Jude are both "commoners" who do not define themselves as insiders or
outsiders. Outside of this world of definitions, they are able to
learn from their real experiences. The merchant really knows love, and
Tinker really knows what type of learning is more valuable. It is from
this perspective that I think I should live my life. I do not claim to
be an insider or an outsider. Instead, I intend to find my much more
specific place in reality and society. By resisting the urge to be an
"insider" I will not limit myself in what I can learn. I will be open
to experiential knowledge rather than simply the knowledge certain
insiders have defined to be superior.
Nov. 15: Jude Part 6 :College Life and Ritual
In
the sixth part of Jude which they try to reject. This is tragic and
ironic because they initially reject aspects of society which they find
oppressive. For example, Jude rejects the notion that he must "follow
uncritically the track he finds himself in" (316). Instead, he chooses
to "consider what his aptness or bent may be, and reshape his course
accordingly" (316). Also, Jude and Sue do not get married because they
were "terrified at the thought of a second irrevocable union...[and]
had literally not found the courage to repeat it".
In the case
of Jude's education, he attempts to follow a self-made course rather
than follow the course society has laid for him. Instead of simply
becoming a stone mason he aspires toward the towers of Christminster.
Unfortunately, society does not support this aspiration.
Poverty-stricken Jude does not have the means to enter the university
easily and he must teach himself the basic skills needed to enter the
university. By toiling over Latin books at night, Jude tries to
overcome society's oppression. When he goes to Christminster with Sue
and his children, Judes failure to become a scholar is contrasted with
the ritual of Remembrance Day, when honorary degrees are given. This
grand ceremony is certainly not created with people of Jude's
circumstance in mind. However, Jude shines among the scholarly
festivities he once dreamed of. He holds his own lecture for the
audience about the architecture around Christminster. He certainly
seems apt enough to have been a student at the university, but he is
nonetheless "an outsider to the end of [his] days" because of society's
oppression(318).
The grief-stricken affair of Jude and Sue is
another example of a rejection of society's rules and rituals. The two
lovers choose not to get married because they have both lived through
the negative effects of such an "irrevocable union." However, society
is unwilling to accept their rejection of convention. In
Christminster, landlords will not provide them with housing because of
their situation. Even Jude's son acknowledges the unacceptable nature
of Jude and Sue's union and realizes that it has caused their rejection
from society. Jude and Sue's sons become victims of their parent's
rejection of convention when they all die in the oldest son's attempt
to save the family. Society is portrayed as an oppressive force that
is unjust by nature. Jude and Sue seem to enjoy a truly loving
relationship, but are forced to return to their terrible marriages.
Despite the failed attempts of Jude to gain an education and a loving
relationship, he does not dwell on his failure. He does not regret his
attempts to escape his current situation, but he realizes that he had
to eventually succumb to society's expectations.
Nov. 22: Distractions of College Life, Zuleika pp. 268-313
The
real distractions are those which we convince ourselves are not
distracting, but meaningful. Odysseus's crew decides to indulge in the
"sweet music" of the new island because "There is no joy but calm!"
(Lotos-eaters, 853). The hundreds of Oxford undergraduates end their
lives in the river in order to express and actualize their love for
Zuleika. These pursuits of ideals mark the downfall of the intellectual
who is not self-reflective. At a certain point, a so-called
intellectual pursuit is only an excuse for escaping reality.
I certainly fall (or allow myself to fall?) for various temptations and
try to rationalize them as "intellectual pursuits". For example, I have
convinced myself that socializing is actually the ultimate learning
experience. I ask myself, "Self, why do I need classes when I can learn
so much from my peers?" Once convinced that I can learn everything I
need to know from May Flam, I go about my day confident that my social
life has a higher purpose...even if that project was a bit late.
Unfortunately, I tend to be a self-reflective kind of guy which
precludes the blissful ignorance that I so desire. Oh, how I would love
to agree that "slumber is more sweet than toil"! (especially when I am
rowing at 5:15 in the morning) (Lotos-eaters, 856). It seems to make
sense that idleness is completely justified because, after all, "What
is it that will last?" (Lotos-eaters, 854). Taking into consideration
our impact on the universe (which is equal to zero, if you know
calculus well enough to take the limit of a life-span), it is difficult
to oppose the seafarer's reasonable request: "Let us alone"
(Lotos-eaters, 854). The lotos-eaters resist Adam's punishment of a
life of toil. They abandon the external reality and embrace "a land
where all things always seem'd the same!" (Lotos-eaters, 852).
But, what the lotos-lovers also abandon are the sources of substantive
meaning in life such as challenges, accomplishments, or the "courage!"
that their captain calls for at the beginning of the poem (852).
Similarly, the men in Zuleika give up their educational pursuits for
their "love" of Zuleika. The satirical style of the novel clearly
exposes these men as immature and unreasonable, since their "love" is
merely infatuation. The men's professed love for the woman is merely a
means of avoiding more meaningful pursuits of true love. In order to
avoid distractions, one must realize that the toil which one seeks to
overcome is actually the source of a meaningful life.